I haven’t blogged in a while. And it’s been intentional. I like to be straight up and honest. But when I needed to keep some things private, blogging wasn’t the best option. The last post was titled ‘Job satisfaction,’ and looking back I can see why I wrote that post. So let me catch you up.
Currently, I am on a teacher training course, something which I went into based on an investment, and looking back now I can say I am a different person to the one writing these posts back in November. Last winter (well its meant to snow so this winter), I was at a placement where the environment was a very negative one (I still don’t think I can reveal too much).
My last post was written at a distressing time for me , where I was having a tough time on my first placement, my home life was unstable and I was missing my uni life. I was stuck in a place where I knew I had to stick out this placement because it would be temporary and things would sort themselves out. But at the time I felt alone (although that was due to me not having any time) and just needed something positive in my life. Looking back now, if I didn’t have such a hard time during that placement I don’t think I would have handled criticism in the light that I now do. I wouldn’t appreciate constructive criticism either. I was part of an environment where I felt constantly put down and judged. I would count down the days until I could leave and although there was some job satisfaction, this situation really put me off teaching. However, I did learn that regardless of anything else, in teaching you need a good support system.
I guess in order for me to grow as a person, I needed to be in a situation where I felt like I was being bullied. I needed to understand the importance of being vocal and having confidence in myself as well as learning the difference between constructive criticism and just pure hate. If you’re in this situation tell someone, don’t leave it as late as I did to sort the issues out.
Now I have overcome those problems and I guess in true life form, new problems arise. But to be honest, although I did have such a tough time in my first placement, I learnt the importance of still being positive. (I know cheesy). You don’t need to fight back sometimes, sometimes you need to do as Selena Gomez advises and ‘Kill em with Kindness,’ because the world has a way of biting back for you. What goes around comes around. It may not be today or tomorrow but we all learn our lessons.
I want to do a post on my experience being part of teacher training, some tips and tricks if you’re thinking of going into it but I want to wait until I can give a fully rounded post.
But a quick little update, I’m on my second placement and I am having a better time, its still a struggle and when I have had long days I do have to remind myself why I put myself in this situation. Otherwise, it’s Easter, I need some time off and a chance to be lazy. Also, everyone seems to have plans or holidays, but because I’m never at home I just want to be lazy. People seem to think that’s strange. I don’t know maybe it is to some?
It’s crazy to think last year this time I was writing a dissertation and revising for finals. It seems a world ago. Sometimes, I like to look in my camera roll and see what I was doing. There are parts I miss, like being together with other people feeling the same. When you’ve graduated you are a lot more alone but that’s important to. For me, I need to be a better friend and reach out more. Being away from my friends means I have to do that. Because you realise that good people are rare, and the ones you have you need to make sure you hold on to. That’s definitely one thing I have learnt since graduating.