It 2:00am and I’m sorry but if you don’t like somber posts then this isnt for you. Those of you who want to carry on, this post won’t probably be here for long so enjoy.
The end of my second year started with a hard journey which has spiraled and followed me up to this point. To be honest I’m proud that I’ve made it in one piece up till now. Around this time last year it all started and I didn’t ever think it would happen or I’d have to go through the year in the way I have. I’m quite a positive person and generally have a positive outlook on life. Last year this time, I was excited to start my final year, I was excited to graduate and I was excited for freedom. But literally the day of my last exam, that evening, everything went awry.
Skipping forward to this year, same-ish time, it is still part of my life and I hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This whole year has made me tougher, stronger (I sound like a Kanye song) and I’ve learnt my capabilities but it doesnt make anything any easier. Every moment has a bad after taste and doesn’t feel quite right.
When sickness hits someone you love it doesn’t limit itself to physical sickness or to that person. The whole household becomes sick, and emotional worry is contagious and spreads between family members. The horrible feeling of not being able to do anything to make it better is the worst. The house has a grey filter and nothing has that safeness it once did.
If anything it has taught me not to get too comfortable in one time in your life because time like we all know moves on. Apart from that, its taught me to look at the bigger picture, when I start to stress about silly small things that I’m sure every girl stresses about I realise there are much more important things to life. However, my sympathy levels have significantly decreased. I can’t sympathise with people who think their boy trouble or exam stress are the be all or end all. Because they really aren’t and although they aren’t easy things to go through in a weird way I’m grateful to be able to experience them.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is, your health is your wealth, life right now may be confusing and you may feel lost. But having your health is everything. It truly is the biggest blessing and I know there are some of you who are struggling with not knowing where your life is going but embrace where you are at now because time will move on and things will change. Would I change my experience? Yes of course, I think its aged me and I wish I could make it all better, but I can’t. For that reason I can either choose to let it make me a debbie downer or use it as a way to be grateful for every second I have and I choose the second option. If it wasn’t for this whole journey I think I would be stuck panicking over the superficial things, don’t get me wrong I still do but I definitely have much more of an appreciation for the little things too. Tonight is probably one of the scariest times but I don’t have control of the situation and can only use it to my advantage.
I know we all go through hard times, what have you learnt from them?